Momma, I want to talk to you about something that plagues me and probably you. It’s not something that I like to think about, but it’s there. It’s there every day. It’s tough, yo!
I’m talking about the Facebook posts from other moms.
You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that show them baking cookies for their child’s birthday at school. The ones that show them smiling even though they’ve had 0 hours of sleep. The one where she’s doing yoga outside without a baby attached to her leg.
Yep, you’ve seen them.
Listen guys, I’m the very first person to tell you I’m not perfect. Neither are you. It’d be weird if we were. We’re people and we’re filled with emotions and at least an inkling of a desire to be perfect. We also want to share how awesome our lives are with the rest of the world and not those imperfect moments. We don’t want to share the times when we’re about to pull our hair out. We don’t want to share the moment we screamed at our child merely because we lost our patience.
We want to share those moments of meditation. We want to share the moments when our kids look like little angels snuggled up against us. We want to share the funny things they say. We want to share their super long nap schedule.
In truth, we want to be doing the mom thing better than other moms. It validates that we are doing a good job. It makes us feel less like a bad mom. It helps us make a positive deposit in our self-love bank, but we’re depending on outside affirmation to do so. We’ve got to stop that! But we’ve also got to stop comparing ourselves to another mom’s highlight reel since that’s where we get some of the biggest negative deposits in our self-love bank.
So how can we stop the comparison game?
Stop looking at social media
Okay, I know we aren’t going to do that, but I do believe that we can make it easier on ourselves. The two times of the day I recommend not looking at Facebook are first thing in the morning and right before bed.
I suggest not looking during these two times because you are the most vulnerable in your day. The morning is a time when your day hasn’t started. It’s a time when the day is full of possibility. You don’t want that ruined by trying to make your day look like someone else’s, amiright? Bedtime is the time when you are really most likely to beat yourself up over your day. You’ll look at a mom with perfectly baked cupcakes for tomorrow and wish that was you. You might even start to rush up to go do it even though you’re exhausted. Bad idea!
Let’s let our minds be relaxed during these two times of our day.
Ask yourself questions
How did this post make you feel?
Why did you react to this post and not others?
What was this post actually about?
How can you feel better in this moment?
What is something amazing you’ve done today?
What are you giving back to the universe?
What are you not doing that you wish you were doing?
Does this actually align with my priorities and our family goals?
If you are able to ask yourself these questions, I believe you’ll be able to get to the heart of the problem faster. Plus, you’ll be able to stoplight any thoughts that are not in alignment with your priorities and goals!
Say thank you
I want you to look at your gratitude practice and thank yourself for what you did today. I want you to thank your friend for showing you her life. I want you to thank your priorities and goals for allowing you freedom.
Let’s all get off this hamster wheel together! Trust me, I’m right there with you a lot of the time, and I want to be better at both being the mom I want and letting this go. If you need to just belt out a little tune to remind you. You know the one….
If you have any questions, leave them below. I look forward to connecting and supporting you along your mom journey!