Okay, I know what you’re thinking. How can I set a bedtime for my spouse and myself when we’ve got crazy toddlers or busy teens? You can relax. I’m not talking about setting a bedtime for you and your husband, but I am talking about going to bed together. I’m talking about the intimacy of sharing pillow talk. To me, it’s not just about the afterglow conversation. It’s actually not related to being sexual at all, but you should be doing that too.
Why though is a spousal bedtime important?
Honestly, I find this to be about spending a few minutes quiet and sharing your thoughts about your house, your day, and of course your kids. We can all get caught up in the heat of the day. We can get lost in the moments and forget to mention that Lil Sprout needs more items for his school lunch or that Squeakers has a doctors appointment next week. Trust me, I’ve totally forgotten to mention it the night before on occasion. In an effort to live a more intentional and peaceful life though, I go to bed at the same time as my husband.
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What do we do in bed even if one of us isn’t tired?
I know that it’s often said that the meditation practice is best first thing in the morning, but in reality, it doesn’t work for us. Our sweet little girl is up at 5am and back asleep til 9am while our little boy is up at 7am. I’m usually the one up at 5am to feed the baby so I take those few extra hours of her going back to sleep to do so myself. Lil Sprout prefers his daddy right now so my husband is up at 7am to greet the day with the little guy. This means that we just aren’t up at the same time in the morning with a quiet house. We head to bed around 10pm though to enjoy a little quiet meditation time and then discuss whatever comes to mind.
Do you have wanderlust? You can easily find a book about some of your bucket list items and share with your spouse or you can just get lost in a good piece of fiction. I finished 5 books last month alone using this method. I read for at least 15 minutes every single night. I spend that time relaxing in the bed and of course yelling out at my husband/personal assistant anytime something in the book strikes me or I think of something I forgot to tell him. Reading is a hobby that allows me to get lost in my own thoughts or in a whole other world.
Intimacy isn’t just about the sex, ya’ll. This is a quiet time when we can snuggle up with one another and enjoy each others company. It also means that my feet get warm. I’m not the only one with ice cold feet the minute I take off my socks, am I? I didn’t think so!
Technically my husband and I started this practice before we had children, but I find that it’s even more important now. It’s a special moment in the day just for us. It’s a time to reflect on if our family is working in the way we want it to and to make plans for the future.
Do you go to bed at the same time as your husband? What do you do after bedtime?