You friends need you. You may not even know that your friends need you, but they do. They’ve got secret struggles. They’ve got struggles you know about, but you haven’t really addressed. We all get busy. Sometimes we can’t imagine where the time would come from to help that friend through their struggle, but it’s so important to find it. It’s important because true friends are few and far between. It’s also important because it teaches your children to be there for their friends. They are more likely to take actions that they see you take. We want our children to be empathetic and kind.
Empathy and compassion are part of our family mission statement.
How can you be there for your friends?
This is a good question. You don’t know exactly when your friend needs you unless you see something that explicitly says so whether that be in text, email, or Facebook post so the best thing to do is check in frequently. You don’t want to interrupt their busy days, but you do want to say hi and see if things are going well.
In the first 3 months after my child was born, I struggled daily. I was exhausted. I was trying to move cross country. I was anxious that I wasn’t doing anything well. I wasn’t doing well with my business since I literally didn’t do ANYTHING with it. I wasn’t doing well personally even though I was getting a shower daily. I was crying daily looking at all the things I wasn’t getting done. I wanted nothing more than to not watch my husband cook dinner so that it didn’t make me feel inadequate. I could’ve used a friend who brought a meal to the house. I would’ve loved to have a friend stop by with a bottle of wine. It would’ve been perfect even if one had just texted me to tell me that I was going to be okay. I wanted someone to come and go for a walk with me and Sweet Baby J just to get out of the house and have an adult conversation with someone other than my husband. These are simple ways that I could’ve been helped in those early days. I’m in a better place now, but I still struggle sometimes. I think we all do. That’s why it’s important to remember that the simplest things matter.
So now what are the 4 Amazing Ways to Support a Friend?
Sometimes this is all it takes. You merely shoot off a text to a friend asking how they’re doing. It doesn’t have to be some HUGE text. It can be as simple as that. You’ll learn a little bit about how their feeling from their response and have a conversation. This probably takes 10-15min out of your day. If you need to, you can schedule it on your calendar to get you started. I know it’s easy to get caught up in our own lives. I sometimes realize it’s been too long since I checked in on a friend. I’m thinking that this very moment actually, but I know I can correct that with a simple text when I finish this post.
Your schedule is chaos. I know, I know! You remember the days when you needed a friend to take you out to dinner so just bite the bullet and find a day when you can at least grab a quick coffee. It’s super important to both your and their well being. You need an adult conversation about the news, elections, or just what’s good on television. Do you remember the last time you discussed a good television show with someone who wasn’t on Facebook? I don’t (unless you count Beat Bugs).
Cook them a meal or invite them for a freezer meal party
You both have to eat, right? What’s doubling a recipe? It’s nothing in the giant scheme of things. You could also invite them over for a night of making freezer meals, and you’ll both leave with ready made meals for those nights when you just can’t even. I have those days, and I know you do too.
Send good thoughts their way
Sometimes we just don’t have the time in a day, or we’re in the middle of our own struggle. How do you support your friends on those days? You support them with good thoughts. You sit there in the muck and hope that their day is going so much better than yours. My child had a fever for 102.5 last week, and I sat there hoping that all of his little friends were feeling better than him. I don’t want my friends to be struggling with naptime, and I want them to get a good nights sleep. I know that they’d want the same for me. We can commiserate, though. You can text them with your struggle and know that they’ll support you as well.
Friends are meant to be here for each other. They’re meant to feel your pain even if they’ve never felt your struggle. It’s all about empathy. I haven’t been where you are, but I understand the hole that you’re in. I’ll climb down there and feel that with you for a moment because the struggle is real.
Do you lack the in person support you need? Sometimes we all do. It’s best to find an online village. Click below to join the #momsquad! It’s FREE!