Alright, mommas, I know that some days it’s really hard. You’re in the sh*t, and you just want to be by yourself when your husband gets home from work. I feel ya. Yesterday, I had one of those days. When my husband finished work, I was sitting on our bar stool with my head in my hands while my son drove his Kozy Truck around our living room plus carted all his Duplos outside. I knew I was going to have a mess to clean up later but in that moment I just needed peace. Before you think my son is some kind of hellion, he’s not. He’s actually a super sweet and adaptable kid, but he kept getting easily frustrated by his Duplos. He wasn’t able to put them together or take them apart without my help. This lead to me having to deal with them every 2.5 seconds. I know you feel me on how exhausting that can get sometimes. So, I want you to take that 5 minutes but then I want you to bounce back and remember that your husband needs you too. He needs you to be a part of your relationship with him even now. It’ll help keep building that strong foundation for later when the kids are long gone. Trust me they all fly the coop eventually. So, I’ve got 4 things your husband needs every day!
4 Things Your Husband Needs Every day!
This one seems obvious to me, but it’s one that we can easily forget when we’re in the sh*t and trying to do all the things. We’ve spent our entire day manhandling a small child and there is still a HUGE pile of laundry to do. The truth is that some of those things can wait. You can check out my tips on housekeeping here. How much attention your husband needs each day will probably vary, but it’s always important to ask about his day and give him a little hug and kiss action. We’d want the same from him, right? Also the kind of attention your husband needs is going to be dependent on his love language. Do you know his love language?
All I’m saying here is that it’s super important to spend some time together every day. My husband and I like to cuddle up on the couch and watch at least one television show a night. Tonight, we are going to catch up on Turn! Do you watch it? Let’s talk!
How to make time?
You don’t have to do anything different than you do with your day! You can give him attention while you’re cooking dinner, getting your sweet babe ready for bed, in the 15-minutes before you go to sleep at night. You can also plan to spend an hour watching television together or reading a book at the same time and discussing.
Meet him where he is
On any given day, we are in a different mood. Our husband might come home to us in a bad mood, and we need him to show us the grace we need in this situation. We should be trying to do the same for him. If he’s had a hard day at work, we don’t want to compound that the first minute he walks in the door. We want to help him transition from that portion of his day to the home portion of his day. It’s not always easy to shut off that knob in your brain. This isn’t to say that how you feel about the day isn’t important. It is! He should totally know how your day was too, but we have to meet him where he is and he should have the grace to do the same for us when it’s in reverse.
How to make time?
Take a few minutes to assess his mood when you’re with him. This means spending a few minutes asking him questions when he gets home and being pleasant yourself. You can do this while doing whatever else you’re doing. It may mean pulling apart a Duplo and asking a question when your child is done yelling at you.
Some days you are gonna be mad at him. You’ll be ready to chase him around the house screaming about something he’s done, but we have to realize that he’s human. It’s okay to argue. It’s normal to disagree. We just have to handle the situation in the best possible way. Try not to have a fight in the heat of the moment, because you don’t want to say something you’ll regret. Remember that you can’t take back words. You can apologize but the hurt will always be there. Of course, we’re all human so we’ll all fail from time to time. It’s important though to show kindness throughout the day to your husband.
How to make time?
Take a few minutes after you’re mad to just not say anything. You can do this by asking for a time out or just being quiet. I’m always quiet at first when I’m mad. It drives my husband a little nuts I think, but I need a moment to think through how I’m going to get into whatever I’m mad about. You just have to make a plan. Otherwise kindness should just come naturally.
Who doesn’t want this? I do. I want to be respected for what I do around the house. I want to be respected for writing this blog. I want that most from my husband. I’m a lucky ducky, because I get that every single day. It’s my job to return that respect. My husband does a lot to help with my day. I’m pregnant so some of my son’s poopy diapers make my stomach turn. My husband changes almost ALL of them. Now that’s love, right? I respect him for not making fun of me. Mostly though I just respect him for being an amazing partner.
How to make time?
You don’t have to make any time for this. You just show him by thanking him for things he does as he does them. You tell him how much you appreciate all that he does for you. It’s all just a part of your day.
Remember: the 4 things your husband needs every day are the exact same things you need every day from him. It’s a two way street. We have to give to receive so that neither of us is resentful of the other.
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