This is the last article for this year’s Before & After Series. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to collaborate with an amazing group of women to bring it to you. Sharing their stories has reminded me of how awesome it is to get to know other people and that no matter how different we are we will always have something in common. Today, I’ve invited my dear friend Samantha to share with you about the greatest surprise of her life.
Growing up I was filled with dreams of living an adventurous and full life. I wanted to be a star. I dreamed of being on the Broadway stage or singing in front of millions of fans, accepting awards. The more practical dreams were filled with being a lawyer or teacher. I never planned a wedding or even thought about having kids. It just wasn’t who I was. My parents even joked that I would only ever give them grandchildren of the 4-legged variety.
When my husband and I started dating, we chatted about kids briefly but not anything about how many, when or if we even wanted them. It was more in the planning for the what if they come when we least expect it? We never wanted to feel trapped should the unplanned become our reality. Little did we realize that 2 years later that’s exactly what our reality was going to become.
In 2008, I went to lunch with my coworkers and after I mentioned that it wasn’t sitting with me too well. My stomach felt a little off. My friend joked and said “You’re pregnant” and I laughed, hit him and told him that was a terrible joke. As the day went on I realized that he could be right. Even though my then boyfriend and I had taken all the necessary precautions, nothing is 100% effective and well, I was late. So I grabbed a test on my way home and headed for the bathroom. There it was in front of me. Two pink lines. My boyfriend was on the couch, playing a video game and I said: “Hey hun…do you have a minute?” He muted the TV and said “Sure” I told him that I needed more of his attention and would need him to “come here.” So he paused it, walked into the bathroom where I was holding the test and then went into shock. He looked at the test, looked at me, looked at the test, looked at me and then headed back to the couch and went into the fetal position. He was silent for about 5 minutes when he jumped up and exclaimed: “I HAVE TO CALL MY MOTHER!” His shock quickly turned into excitement and mine just went to being scared. I had no idea what I was in for or if it was even something I wanted. I had never planned for kids. Sure I liked kids but would I like being a mom?
Of course, after the initial shock, I texted my friend and said “Guess what? You were right.”
Over the 9/10 months of pregnancy, my anxiety and apprehension grew into excitement. I LOVED being pregnant. I loved everything about it. I had that “pregnancy glow”. When my daughter arrived, I was so in love with her. I couldn’t imagine not being a mom. It was the best feeling ever and she was amazing.
I quickly learned that moms are often harshly judged, always afraid of “messing up” and constantly trying to do everything. I never felt like enough and I was always worried I was doing the wrong thing or doing it the wrong way. I also learned everyone has advice and none of it is the same. You have to pick and choose what works for you, your little and your family and do the best you can. No one is perfect and it’s ok to mess up.
Fast forward a couple years and we decided we didn’t want our daughter to be an only child and we tried to conceive a second. It took us almost a year. When our son was born, I told my husband that it felt like my heart was full. Like there was a piece missing that I’d never realized wasn’t there until now. Our family was exactly how it was meant to be. It felt perfect. It felt amazing.
I have been a mother for almost 7 years now. A mother of two for 2.5 years. I wouldn’t change it for anything. It would be a lie to say that I don’t wonder what my life would have been like had I not had kids. But every scenario I run through my head just isn’t as happy and full of life as what I have now. Sure there are tantrums and bad days but every version of life is filled with its ups and downs. Having a family with a husband & kids that make you laugh, smile and feel complete make those bad days easier to get through. I’m happy that my unplanned life is the life I have now. It’s beautifully imperfect, wonderful and filled with adventures I never imagined.
Samantha is a brand developer to the creative + confused. She works with amazing lady bosses to create stand out brands infused with their personality and style so they can attract their dream clients and fall in love with their business all over again. She’s also one half of the podcasting duo over at the BeYOUtifully Bold in Business podcast where you’ll hear real stories from entrepreneurs about their honest & authentic success in business. Samantha and her co-host Nicole hope to create a movement empowering you to create your own version of success and be BeYOUtifully Bold in Your Business.
You can connect with Samantha at www.neapolitancreative.com and find out how you can build a brand that is fully YOU. Looking for a DIY approach to crafting your authentic brand? Then check out her course at beyoutifullybranded.com where you’ll receive coaching, copywriting & design guidance that will help you build a brand you love. You can also catch her, Nicole, and their guests weekly over at BeYoutifullybold Podcast.