I know I talked about this on the podcast, but I’m finding that it wasn’t enough. I can’t stop thinking about this topic. What about refusing to let transgendered men and women use the bathroom of the gender they identify as makes you safer? We have laws against rape and assault. Do they happen less? They don’t at least not because of the law. I’m not more scared by a transgendered woman using my bathroom because she’s probably already been using it without you thinking twice about it. I also don’t believe there is going to be a HUGE influx of men dressing in drag just to attack women. I find that a good majority of the men I know wouldn’t want to wear women’s clothes for anything much less to create an elaborate plan to assault or rape a woman.
As of 2014, there were 12 states with non-discrimination laws, and none of them had seen an increase in sexual violence. This means that there is really no reason to fear a man dressing as a woman and coming into the bathroom to assault you. On top of that, transgendered men and women are a highly targeted group of people. There are so many people who don’t agree with their life. There are people who believe that it’s a choice. Would you choose something that would lead to a 41% suicide rate? Would you choose to be hated by many? Would you choose the hard way to live? No, you wouldn’t. Neither would they.
Also, if you want to be concerned for the women in your life I applaud you, but I think that you are misguided here. I’ve spent my entire life living as a woman, and I know what it’s like to live in fear of sexual assault. I know what it’s like to be sexually harassed. I don’t walk alone on the streets at night. I check my clothes to make sure they aren’t too revealing. If we’re going to be worried about sexual assault, we need to be worried about all forms of sexual assault. We have to worry about how to teach men and women to have respect for each other and not touch people inappropriately. We have to teach girls that they are NEVER asking for it. We have to stop focusing on what people wear and where people go to the bathroom.
We need to treat our transgendered friends as people. We need to teach each other that violence is not the answer. It’s about being human and loving other humans even if you think they’re flawed. We’re all flawed. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
I’m all about teaching my son to be a good citizen and respect people. I want him to understand that you don’t know other people’s circumstances, and you shouldn’t judge them. Sure, we’ve all done it from time to time, but we need to think about how to shake that. Transgendered people using your bathroom are not a threat to you, your family, or the general public. Let’s all be good citizens and not worry about the genitals of the person in the stall next to you.
Yes to all of this! I was having a hard time figuring out how to articulate this to someone I know who brought up a concern along these lines, but this just states it all so well. Thank you!
It is super hard to articulate. I’m glad this article resonated with you, though. I hope that we can all find a way to spread the love and not the fear.