It’s that time of year again! The time of the year where the ladies of the world unite to loathe how crappy men are while simultaneously wishing they had a special someone to loathe. So why sit at home eating ice-cream and watching Sex and the City reruns with your girlfriends when you can go out to a bar and find a drunk dude to bring to your place and do weird yet safe things with in a mutually respectful environment?! I’m kidding, go out there and get a man! We all know that finding a guy isn’t easy and getting someone to stay interested in you is hard, but I’ve compiled a list of 4 sure fire ways to get a man interested and keep him hanging until he finds out how weird you are (see next month’s post for how to keep him from finding all your crazy for over 3 months! Yay boyfriend!)
Welcome to Friday! You’ve made it through the week again. Valentine’s Day is coming up shortly, and I thought it might be fun to get a take on how to pick up a dude at a bar. The good news is that they also actually work so I dare you to test them out.
1: Nacho Theory
We’ve all been there, you’re at a bar, you see someone you want to talk to, what do you do? Ask to buy them a drink? No! That screams desperation/ they might take the drink and run. So, what do you do? Buy yourself a plate of Nachos, take those nachos to your object of desire and ask them if they’d like to have a bite. No one ever refuses nachos, you’ll start a great conversation and the worst case scenario is that you end up with a plate of nachos (SCORE!)
2: Switch up your Verbiage
So, you’ve found your man, you’ve got him talking about nachos, now what? You could exchange digits and hope he remembers you the next day OR you could take matters into your own hands and hightail it out of that awesome nacho bar you’ve been chilling at. The average request to hang out probably won’t work, too much pressure. Instead, try using some words that pique a man’s interest. Use epic, old words, like CHALLENGE and QUEST and ADVENTURE. Ex: DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A VODKA QUEST WITH ME?! Vs. wanna grab a drink sometime? Challenge him, he will challenge your heart. (whatever that means)
3: I’m moving in 6 weeks
There is nothing a man hates more than the idea of having to spend time with a girl he likes on a consistent basis. It scares them to death to think of that kind of commitment. So, instead of freaking him out with all those pesky fears of continuity, relax your soon to be valentine right off the bat by assuring him, there are no consequences to his being nice to you. You’re moving across the country in 6 weeks. Just long enough to have some fun, not long enough to care. Sometimes I just yell this phrase as I enter the room, and skip tips 1 and 2. The guys will come flocking, cause men love women who travel far, far away.
4: Hey there’s a cake over there
A guy friend of mine used this at a party and it worked so well, it’s become one of my favorite ways to get a date (or kidnap someone, if that’s what you’re into). The setup is simple. After conversation has started, and the nachos are almost gone, you may want to go someplace a little quieter to do something weird. Asking that straight up is awkward, so lie to the person! “Hey, I hear there’s a cake upstairs, or back there, or at my place on 7th and Main” is the perfect way to make that seamless transition from Be Mine? to Valentine!
In summary, Valentine’s Day can be a total bummer for the lady who sits around and waits for love to come to her, but for the girl who wants to take love by the horns and coerce it into submission, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to start standing your ground any maybe get arrested or kicked out of a nacho bar. Good Luck, Ladies, it’s a tough world out there.